Who Knows Where or When?

That’s exactly what I’m thinking when I wake up in the morning, before I have my orange juice (or Pepsi or iced tea or Jack Daniels). Then it goes away and I start thinking about trains!

Well, I don't know why I came here tonight. I got a feeling that something ain't right.
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair and I'm wondering how I'll get down those stairs.
Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right, here am I stuck in the middle with you.
Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you and I'm wondering what it is I should do.
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face, losing control, I'm all over the place.
Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right, here am I stuck in the middle with you.
Trying to make some sense of it all, but I can see it makes no sense at all. Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor? I don't think that I can take it no more. Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right, here am I stuck in the middle with you.

Huh?

A Positive Reminder - J.A. Lindon



A carpenter named Charlie Bratticks

Who had a taste for mathematics,

One summer Tuesday just for fun

Made a wooden cube side minus one.



While this to you may well seem wrong,

He made it minus one foot long,

Which meant (I hope your brains aren't frothing)

Its length was one foot less than nothing.



In width the same (you're not asleep?)

And likewise minus one foot deep;

Giving, when multiplied (be solemn!)

Minus one cubic foot of volume.



With sweating brown this cube he sawed

Through areas of solid board;

For though each cut had minus length,

Minus times minus sapped his strength.



A second cube he made, but thus;

This time each one foot length was plus:

Meaning of course that here one put

For volume; plus one cubic foot.



So now he had, just for his sins,

Two cubes as like as deviant twins:

And feeling one should know the worst,

He placed the second in the first.



One plus, one minus - there's no doubt

The edges simply cancelled out;

Likewise the volume, nothing gained;

Only the surfaces remained.



Well may you open wide your eyes,

For these were now of double size,

On something which, thanks to his skill,

Took up no room and measured nil.



From solid ebony he'd cut

These bulky cubic objects, but

All that remained was now a thin

Black sharply-angled sort of skin



Of twelve square feet-which though not small

weighs nothing and fills no space at all,

It stands there yet on Charlie's floor;

He can't think what to use it for!


...sort of like some of the layout construction projects that don't go quite as expected...

Getting Old Is Weird Because You're Still that Same Enthusiastic Kid Trapped In A Crapshow Of A Body

Then again, maybe not.